When Its Over: Filling the Void of a Closed Case
You and your attorney went to war together. They saw you through the worst of time, stood by your side and fought your case. In the end, you got a ruling or a settlement you could live with. It may not have been what you wanted, it may not seem fair to you, and it may not have entailed seeing your ex-spouse grovel in court, but at least the case is closed and you can move on.
Now that it’s over, you feel like you should be relieved to put it behind you. But for some reason you cannot.
When you have spent months and years engaged in a bitter battle against your ex, expending your time, energy, focus and money, it can leave a void when the case is finally over. Even if you won what you wanted and certainly worse if you got less than you expected. There really are no winners when it comes to a long drawn-out battle in court.
The emotional aftermath of a family law matter can be difficult to overcome.
When a case becomes all consuming and takes over your life, it’s difficult to return to normalcy when the case is over. Here is how we could recommend managing void left after a case is over:
- Seek counsel: and not from your attorney. One of the best benefits of concluding your case is you do not have to pay attorney fees. Find a therapist, coach, clergy, or other professional who can assist you through this transition.
- Prioritize self-care: Although this seems to be such an overrated suggestion, your mind and body needs balanced meals, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep. When it feels as though your whole world has been rocked, start with the basics and build from there.
- Exercise self-compassion: Be gentle and compassionate towards yourself during this challenging period. Avoid self-blame as these thoughts can harm emotional well-being. Remember that you are doing the best you can.
- Take a break if necessary: If the emotional trauma is too much, it might be necessary to take a break from work or school and seek additional support. Prioritize your mental health.
- Focus elsewhere: Thinking about your case can cause you to lose sleep or worsen anxiety. Continue with hobbies you once enjoyed, invest in new experiences, and try your best to keep your mind occupied.
- Reach out to loved ones: There is no shame in reaching out to your friends and family for support. You are not in this alone.
